Shit Happens . . Only Joking! Oops . . .

A funny thing happened to me on the way to writing a post on the subject of 'Shit Happens', you've guessed it haven't you? That's right, plenty of Shh . . it happened, and some of it seems to have hit the fan. Someone remind me to turn the frigging thing off next time will you?

When shit happens, and it also hits the fan, one needs to step well back . . but unfortunately one also needs to turn the fan off, which involves moving close in again; dilemma! Shit is happening, I've inadvertently turned the fan on, and stepped back only to realise I've now got to face it head on in order to turn it off! Well I guess I could have simply turned and ran . . .

. . but I didn't have the energy, my health was in a shit ridden condition!

There has been all kinds of the stuff flying around recently, some of it not very aromatic I can assure, or maybe reassure, you, which is your preference? You catch my inference? I won't go into detail, there really is no point, but there is perhaps one lesson to be discerned here:

"What you acknowledge is what you get."

Barry Long

OK, so the fact is that I acknowledged that shit happens and life, in its endearing wisdom (ha, ha, don't make me laugh), decided to teach me a lesson . . even though I acknowledged that shit happens only in jest . . suddenly I started to experience some real bad shit man, hear what I'm sayin? Which, for some strange reason, reminds me of . . .

Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.

. . . which you should never do my children . . .

. . and I don't . .

Psychologists tell us that, "We become what we think about", and I've never argued with that . . so maybe I spent too much time focused on the possibility that shit could happen? What do you think . . or is it all simply a coincidence that shit only began to happen once I had acknowledged it on here for a period of time, hm? There you go, it's a psychological fact folks . . .

Psychology(ism?): When shit happens, it's because you've been thinking about shit too much!

Well, what's happened has happened, no point crying over shit happening, is there? Better to face up to it and move on . . .

. . but what about Parapsychology, the branch of psychology that deals with the investigation of purportedly psychic phenomena, as clairvoyance, extrasensory perception, telepathy, and the like?

Parapsychology: Shit happens without material causes!

Hey look, I no longer feel like acknowledging that shit happens, not even in jest . . . just in case . . . know what I mean? I seem to have ordered up some bad cosmic shit, so I figure that in . .  .

Cosmic Ordering: Shit only happens when you acknowledge it, so don't; put in a better order next time!

Maybe I need a good dose of Positive Thinkers Medicine (or Positive Mental Attitude), to convert me into more of an optimist because in . . .

Optimism: If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it.

Wow, writing that has made me realise that I've obviously been far too pessimistic these past few weeks, however, in . . .

Pessimism: If shit happens, there won't be enough for everybody.

. . . believe me, there will be . . .

 

. . want me to share some with you?

Anyway, I'm here to tell you that there is no such thing as shit that happens for no reason. You may choose to disagree, fair enough, I have no problems with that whatsoever . . you go right on acknowledging what you like, and if you need someone to turn the fan on for you . . .

This has been the return of The Wayward Yogi, who would simply like to say that it's good to be back home in Blogger Ville ;-)