A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins When Shit Happens!

    In my last post we looked at the deep and meaningful philosophy known simply as "Shit Happens", and you may remember that we discovered that Taoism simply perceives that shit does indeed happen, which, very surprisingly, wasn't even contested by our resident expert on Taoism, Ta Wan! Indeed, he made no comment at all, and I would very much like to take this opportunity to ask him if he has his very own shit happening hidden up his sleeve that could be shared with us? Well, have you? Or is Taoism really that uninteresting? ;-P No doubt, in due course, he'll tell me just how many yogi's it takes to change a light bulb whilst sitting inverted in the full lotus position; and with shit happening . . .

Yes, it was Suzanne Foxton who gave us several examples of how many Taoists and Buddhists it takes to change a light bulb . . . 

How many Taoists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They wait for the light bulb to change itself, and eventually, resign themselves to darkness.

How many Confucianists does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, the number it takes isn't important, as long as the process is a model of social order.

How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

It never gets changed. But the Buddhist may well attain enlightenment upon contemplation of the dilemma of changing or not changing the light bulb.

How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

None: the unchanged light bulb is perfect as it is.

Well I happen to agree with that one, ha, ha . . . someone else can change the fecking thing! ;-)

OK, how many Suzanne Foxton's does it take to change a light bulb guys? It doesn't, in fact it takes no one in particular . . . apparently! Which is nice . . .

Right, getting back on track with that other shit we were discussing, Confucianism revealed that Confucius, he say: "Shit Happens", (what, like light bulbs blowing?), which is no improvement at all on our Taoist dilemma. What is wrong with these Orientals, don't they have a sense of humour? (hey, I'm just kidding with you). What would Lau Tzu have said about all this shit happening? He may have said there was no shit happening at all, or that shit is simply the way . . . on the other hand he might have said:

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, usually because shit has already happened, well let's face it, there's never a good reason to have to walk that far." 

Obviously much has been lost in translation . . . and the journalist was also having trouble keeping up with him at the time!

Now, the Buddhist philosophy is a little more interesting:

If shit happens, then it isn't really shit.

Well if it isn't really shit, what is it? Oh, I see, they mean that it's only our perception of the event that is shit!

Eureka!

Come to think of it, that's a fair point, and a possibility worth our consideration. I mean, look, we all experience events in our lives don't we, but . . . humour me here . . . maybe the event itself isn't a problem, maybe it is our perception of the events in our lives that creates all our problems . . . what do you think, is that a possibility worth contemplating? Perhaps events happen, but faulty perception turns the event into shit happening, and not only shit that is happening, but happening to me. That's right, we take shit personally, and that could be mankind's real problem!

It is World Cup year, so, are you keeping score here? It seems to me to be a score line of one goal to Buddhism, and pretty much zero goals to Taoism and Confucianism . . . ha, ha . . . maybe someone in the know should score a couple of goals on their behalf? ;-) (wink, wink).

Of course Zen gave us a beauty with "What is the sound of shit happening?" Rizal, in his commentary told us, and I quote:

 "A thoughtful koan: "What is the sound of shit happening?"

I'll sit and contemplate...

... on the toilet!"

Well there's no place like home! What, WHAT??

It was Shinzen who came up with a real answer, he of the deep Taoist-Zen-Karate Philosophies said, word for word:

Okay Doug...you've brought out in my inner adolescent.

What's the sound of one shit happening?

"Biloit...aaaahhh!"

Which I have to admit, made me smile . . . in a totally puerile sort of way of course :-)

So, Zen scored a couple of goals courtesy of Rizal and Shinzen. Buddhism pretty much scored it's own goal, but not an own goal, and that was without any help from a friend . . but what about Lau Tzu, the other Taoists and Confucius, anything for them so far? No, not even a light bulb or two . . .

Anyway, it would appear that 1yogi2many has had a very negative effect upon the mental health of several members of Blogger Ville, but hopefully things will improve from now on!

So, let us move on to . . .

Hinduism: "This shit has happened before."

. . . and not forgetting . . .

Islam: "If Shit happens, it is the will of Allah."

. . . which is undeniable, so don't even go there! And finally today . . .

Homerism: "Why does shit always happen to me? D'oh!"

No one in their right mind would deny Homer Simpson his right to figure prominently amongst the great philosophers of the (cartoon) world, especially when communicating the happenings of shit; and so he has been rightfully put where he belongs.

In my next post, which is your next fix, there will be plenty more shit happening, so don't put your foot in it by missing it! It may, however, take a couple of days to arrive because I'll be going on vacation with the children.

That's it for now from . . .

1light-bulb2few (with a need to pop to the hardware store) Yogi!

PS. I was, of course, going to move onto the whole light bulb thing once I'd exhausted all this shit that's happening here, but unfortunately Suzanne mentioned them first, but that's OK cos shit like that happens! ;-)

PPS. There is of course the seed of an equal, or greater, opportunity hidden within the shit that just happened; there always is if you'll just look for it, as demonstrated by all the shit you've just read here
:-)

Some Gumption for you to muse over; Shit Happens!

It 's that great philosopher, and fictional character, Forrest Gump who seems to be most famous for saying that "Shit happens", although Shit happens is a common slang phrase. It is used as a simple existential observation that life is full of imperfections, or "C'est la vie". The phrase is an acknowledgment that bad things happen to people for no particular reason, or so it seems to them, ahemmm! There are also minced oath forms, such as "stuff happens" or "it happens" . . . even "shift happens", apparently :-)

Anyway, shit definitely does happen, which is why so many people have a ready made excuse for their unhappy whining and whinging ways, ha, ha . . yes, it is all about that word perspective, but for now, well, who gives a shit? Don't answer that, because I obviously don't ;-) Look, if you're interested in discovering a new understanding of perspective and awareness I recommend visiting this link to C. Om's blog; he brings great clarity to the subject.

What is this leading to? It's leading to a philosophical look at the phrase shit happens, and it's going to be an ongoing, day to day perusal that will keep being added to, one blog post at a time, a day at a time . . .

. . . until it comes to its climax, which will definitely hit the spot! So, make sure you come here everyday to get a fix of shit happens . . . it is definitely the best shit in town!

Here is your first fix . . .

Taoism: "Shit happens."

Confucianism: "Confucius say: Shit happens."

Buddhism: "If shit happens, it isn't really shit"

Zen: "What is the sound of shit happening?"


OK, you're bright, you've got the idea by now, right? It's meant to be a light hearted look at different philosophical approaches. If the four philosophies above did not make you at least smile out loud then maybe you're in the wrong place . . but that's alright, it's not all wrong, you either get this shit or you don't ;-)

1No-Longer-Constipated-Yogi2Few

PS. You may have seen this shit elsewhere before now, that's ok, it's not brand new shit, but it's still worth a smile a day :-)

What's Happening?

The other day I was driving in my car, and listening to my music on the CD player whilst making a journey to see my children . . .

Hold on did I just say, I? My car? My music? My Children? Ha, ha . . don't you just love our misuse of words? I'll start again ;-)

The car was being driven. Being was at the wheel. Driving was happening, a CD was playing, music was happening . . the journey was unfolding. All there was, was the unfolding of this

'isness'.

OK, I'm writing retrospectively, of something that is now only a memory, and as I sit here writing . . . there is nothing else. Yesterday is no more. Unfolding of being is, and it is the unfolding of words on a blog post. As this unfolds in your psyche, there is nothing else, only this. This is the unfolding of reading these words, and the sitting on that seat. Is this too simple for the mind to accept?

I have a mind to tell you that there is no mind. That's right, there is no such thing as you having a mind, which, by default, also means that those thoughts you're so attached to in the psyche are not yours either . . . there's a real smile going on here in this One-ness through which these words are unfolding :-) . . .

. . . but 'no mind', means exactly that; no individual mind. There may well be thought happening, but in liberation there is no ownership of those thoughts. Who is driving the car when driving is happening? No one, driving is certainly happening, but in liberation there is 'no individual' driving it, no individual takes ownership of the car or the driving; there is only the appearance of driving taking place. Being is at the wheel, apparently :-), sorry but these words that keep flowing out of nothingness keep this silly smile on this silly face . . a face that one no longer take ownership of, ha, ha . . some other poor soul can do that ;-)

And what of 'my children', how can one Not take ownership of them? How can one not be attached to ones offspring? Look, in liberation, parenting continues right on as before . . but without taking ownership; for the child is simply oneness happening . . unconditionally.

In liberation everything is seen to be the unfolding of nothingness as everything, and this is simultaneously unconditionally loving.

So, one communicates this here, like a finger pointing towards the distant moon, but actually, in reality, the moon is also within, the external child is also One. There is no separation, no individuality . . . except when one thinks there is; and in so doing one separates . . and makes two . . when, in reality, there is only one. But . . .

One already knows this, doesn't one?

It is through attachment to what appears to be external stimuli, that one takes ownership of words such as mind and thought . . turning them into mine, when there is only, in reality, one-ness . . hmmm?

In liberation, I am no more, and one is everything and nothing all at

On(c)e.